Are you kidding me?  Another divorce among the riche and the famous?

Aye … who are we kidding!  Nothing new … no surprise; isn’t it sad?

It was said that half of marriages in United States will end in divorces; however, it’s important to mention that the divorce rates distribution differ based on age and gender distribution.

For instance, according to Divorcerate.org, men and women between 20 to 24 years age had the highest divorce rate with 38.8% and 36.6% in women within same age category.

Of course, like all statistical data and figures it is never that simple, these numerical variations will change base on other external/internal factors such as age, gender, geographic location, pre-marital experiences, and etc; so I am talking about “general” situations and figures here.

It was a huge shock to me when I came across the information that people in second and third marriages had the higher divorce rates.  I always assumed that first marriages had highest divorce rates because they may have been too young when they got married and as they grow older they discover who they are as a person, and etc.  You know … the same dance and song!

Well … well … well … I was WRONG!

Jennifer Baker, Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield Missouri stated that 50% of first marriages end in divorces while 67% of second marriages end in divorces followed by 74% divorce rate in third marriages.

Age at Marriage for those who divorce in America

Ok … so where am I going with this?  Hmmm … heard it on the radio, while dropping my kiddos off to their schools, if Kim Kardashian should return the diamond engagement ring back to her late husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries.

Wow … I didn’t realize how many people are so passionate and opinionated about the ring topic!

Whether it is a media stunt (or not) to get engaged with a $2 million diamond engagement ring or getting married under televised E! or now filing for a divorce under irreconcilable difference claim … it is a hot topic.

Some feel that Kim should return her ring back to Humphries while her mother, Kris Jenner, stated “Well … I hated an Indian-Giver” against Humphries request.

As usual, Kardashian clan and Jenner made a headline once again!  Jenner’s insensitive statement caused an outrage in Native American community.

With all that said, there are some questions to who actually bought the diamond engagement ring.  Some say Humphries bought it while other claim it’s Kim who actually bought it.

My feeling is this … you cannot go from madly in love to divorce in 72 days; especially when we are talking about grownups here.  You would expect this kind of dramatic emotional roller-coasters from teenagers, but then I would be insulting ALL teenagers so I am not even going there.  I know so many teens who are far more responsible, sensible, and full of common sense then what Kardashian/Humphries.

I guess I can go on-and-on about this topic, so here is the bottom line how I feel about the ring situation.

If Kim bought the ring, herself, then she should keep it.

If Humphries bought the ring for her then she should gracefully return it to Humphries; especially it’s her who initiated the divorce filing process.

If both of them bought it together, then they should auction it off and split the money; BUT only take how much they have invested in the ring.  All possible “profit” should go towards a charity.

Wow … has marriage become so cheap?  This saddens me.

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My husband and I have married for 13 years now, and he still amazes me!

No matter how bad of a day I had with our children or gets frustrated with never-ending house chores or running after the dogs because they love to do their “business” in the kids area he always makes me laugh.

At times his attempt to make me laugh drives me crazy and would love to shake the heck out of him, but at the end I am overwhelmed with laughter!

What can I say … I just love him to pieces.

My husband and I are average Americans … work hard, our social activities revolves around our children, rather than taking lavish vacations we prefer to invest our money into our children’s activities, wake up early and go to sleep late … I know it all sound so familiar with you guys.

My friends even asked me how come we don’t go on trip by ourselves and leave the children with one of the grandparents.  Bunch of our friends were taking vacations, couple’s retreats, and wanted us to go with them.

We all have children in similar age range and we all are close to each others age, but the thought of leaving my kids with grandchildren scared the heck out of me.

First and foremost, we have never left our children more than 4 hours (that is our max) and we always came home early to put the kids to bed.  If one of us is out late with our friends one is always home to put the kids to bed.

This is something my husband I decided, without any hesitation, to always put the kids to bed … there’s nothing more sacred then that … our opinions and beliefs.

Anyhow, after a long talk with my husband we decided to pass on the whole couple’s vacation because I rather be home with our young children.

Kids are growing so fast!  My children’s school has already started and when I put them in the bus this morning I couldn’t help but tear up.

Of course, I didn’t cry in front of the children, but it seems like it was only yesterday I had them!  I was their world and they needed me, but as the kids are growing (and getting older) they need me less and I am no longer the center of their life.

I guess we did a fine job because they are becoming more independent, but as a mom it breaks my heart that the time is flying by so fast!

How did this happen?  Why can’t I remember everything they have done, they have said, they have accomplished … I feel like my memories are fading!

Thankly, I have a great husband (and a true partner) who understands what I am going through, and we talk to make ourselves strong.

Our children’s needs and wants may have changed, but I know they still need me to guide them in the right direction.

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Sorry I didn’t post adoption blog yesterday, but my husband and I had our January date!

Like most married people with children, we try to have at least one date for ourselves without the kids, dogs, or even friends – just him and me!

It was really nice – we saw a movie, ate Sushi, and got a midnight cap drink –Wow, it was so peaceful!  It was a real treat that no one was saying, “He’s touching my stuff,” or “When is our dinner coming?” or “Do we have to eat that?” or constant reminders to sit down and behave!

Anyhow, back to the topic of adoption.

My husband and I both have friends who were adopted (or have adopted children) from overseas and domestic (within U.S.).

Let me tell you that it is a long process and sometimes painful process (if the child you were going to adopt falls through – whatever the reason might be).

In addition to emotional and time consuming burden, it is a huge financial burden as well; especially if you adopt children from overseas.

Not only you, the parent(s), have to pay for domestic paper works, but you also have to pay for overseas work as well – it’s a double whammy, but sure is worth it when you see your child’s face.

Whatever the reasons might be (challenges of conceiving or adding to existing family or being a single mom or etc) giving the opportunity to save a child (in turn saving your life as well) is a blessing — from personal experience, it is wonderful!

However, before you decide to adopt you need to first decide if you are going to go for international adoptions or domestic adoptions.

There are both pros and cons to each adoption so you need to understand and have clear expectations of both adoptions.

Jolie & Pitt

Pros — International Adoptions:

1) More children available from different parts of the world: many countries

2) Need to get approved for homestudy – usually, once you are approved you are practically guaranteed a child

3) Parents/children matched either by adoption agency, country’s adoption committee, or in-country visit

4) Parents know the timeline – usually 12-18 months; however, does differ from the country you are adopting your children from

5) Birthmothers will not change her mind – children are usually orphans

6) Know the cost before the process starts

Cons – International Adoptions

1) You will probably have to travel (depends on the age of the children and country)

2) Chances to get a newborn infant is slim

3) Child’s medical and family history might not be available

4) No guarantee you’ll receive a “perfect” child – There’s a great possibility that the child might have developmental disabled (depending on the length of stays in the orphanage)

5) Lots of paper work

6) Higher costs

Pros – Domestic Adoption:

1) Cost may be “little” compared to international adoptions; especially if you go through your state or adoptions through foster care system

2) Little travel required

3) Chances of getting an infant is greater

Cons – Domestic Adoption:

1) May require you to take classes – usually 25 or more hours (e.g. in Kansas parents are required to attend Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting (MAPP) classes

2) Birth mothers/fathers can change their minds (for longer and later stages of adoption process)

3) Harder procedural guidelines and requirements to adopt a child (unfortunately, discriminated against based on gender, age, sexuality, and etc)

Of course, there are more “pros and cons” to both adoption process; however, they are neither bad nor good — it’s all up to the prospective parents needs and wants.  In another words, what’s good for one perspective parents might be good for the other parents, and vice versa.

Either way you choose to go, giving a child a CHANCE is the greatest thing a human being can do!

————————————————

Adoption Network: Law Center.  Retrieved from http://international.adoption.com/foreign/pros-cons-of-international-adoption.html  (1/24/09).

Craft, C. Deciding Between Domestic Adoption and International Adoption.  About.com  Retrieved from http://adoption.about.com/od/adopting/a/domint.htm (1/24/09).

Robin, W. The Pros and Cons of Domestic Adoptions.  Ezinearticles.  Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Pros-And-Cons-Of-Domestic-Adoptions&id=559304 (1/24/09).

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If it has been a long time for you or you are now organizing a wedding you probably remembered (or now realize) how expensive it is.

It has been estimated that average wedding range from $20,000 to $25,000* (or much more) – it’s a decision of having a beautiful wedding vs. saving cash for a down-payment on a house/condo. 

Here are some wedding Statistics from National Association of Wedding Ministers**.

1) During the engagement period, couples buy: $4 billion in furniture, $3 billion in house-wares, and $400 million in tableware. 
2) Wedding industry is a $50 billion/year industry
3) Average age for the first-time brides is 25 years, for grooms it’s 27.5
4) A total of $72 billion is spent on weddings annually in the U.S.
5) $19 billion is spent buying presents at wedding gift registry
6) The average amount spent on a bridal gown is $800
7) David’s Bridal accounts for 20% of all bridal-gown sales, and that percentage is increasing
8) The average ring costs $2,000
9) 80% of traditional weddings are performed in churches or synagogue

So let’s elope; right?  Well, I think most men are opting for this option – eliminate headaches, measuring, picking out right napkin color, flowers, bridal shows, and etc.  However, probably most of you women are not too fond of this.

We, women, have this idea in our head (since we were a little girl) to have a beautiful large white wedding with beautiful ceremony, cake, and a perfect wedding dress. 

Unfortunately, everything comes with a price – are you willing to pay for it? 

One of the main reasons people elope these days are to eliminate the cost.  Roughly 30% of all engaged couples have to pay for their own wedding – wish they have rich parents, huh? 

Honestly, you are not having the wedding for yourself – you are having the wedding for everybody else.  Think about it – you are having the ceremony to show everybody that You are in love, You are getting married, You are inviting them to witness the ceremony, and etc – well, that’s how I see it.

Fortunately, eloping is not tabooed so terribly these days, and I am grateful for that.  “Wedding” has been so distorted by the wedding industry that it seems like you have to have your wedding certain way to legitimize your love for your partner.

Remember, eloping is not considered a quickie anymore, but union of intimacy between two people in love.  
• Long, John.  Why Couples Elope!  Articlesbase.  http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/why-couples-elope-40852.html
** National Association of Wedding Ministers: Wedding Statistics.  Aministry.  http://www.aministry.net/wedding/statistics.htm

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What is love?  I think we all have different definition of LOVE.  Generally speaking it’s mix of emotions and experiences leading to a strong sense of affection to someone or something.

 We as people have been looking for love all our lives – some are lucky to have that special someone, and there are many who are still seeking for the “special someone” in their life; either using traditional dating methods, blind dates, using personals or using online services.

I have been married for more than 13 years, and have beautiful children with this man.  Not only he is the love of my life, but he is my man, my best friend, my soul-mate, my comedian, my shoulder, and so much more.

When he and I go on our monthly date (boy, we really look forward to it) people still asks us if we are newlyweds.  I think it’s awesome that after 13 years of marriage we are still in love.

Personally speaking, not only you have to love the person you are with, but you have to like them as well.  I don’t think people realize that liking the person means more than loving that person.

You will always love the person in your heart, but do you LIKE them enough to be around them all the time?
I will give you an example – I know it’s a terrible one, but it gets the message through clearly.

Most of you love your parents or love your in-laws or your special someone’s parents, but can you imagine being around them all the time?

If you answered “YES,” than you are on your way to a happy relation, but if you answered “NO” don’t worry you are not a bad person – it just makes you normal.

People have already spent billions of dollars in matchmaking industry Click Here! last year to find their mate, and this industry is growing ever rapidly — there are many link sites available online.

If you would like to take my advice under a consideration, make sure you like the person!

Good luck, and love will find you.

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