Sorry I didn’t post adoption blog yesterday, but my husband and I had our January date!
Like most married people with children, we try to have at least one date for ourselves without the kids, dogs, or even friends – just him and me!
It was really nice – we saw a movie, ate Sushi, and got a midnight cap drink –Wow, it was so peaceful! It was a real treat that no one was saying, “He’s touching my stuff,” or “When is our dinner coming?” or “Do we have to eat that?” or constant reminders to sit down and behave!
Anyhow, back to the topic of adoption.
My husband and I both have friends who were adopted (or have adopted children) from overseas and domestic (within U.S.).
Let me tell you that it is a long process and sometimes painful process (if the child you were going to adopt falls through – whatever the reason might be).
In addition to emotional and time consuming burden, it is a huge financial burden as well; especially if you adopt children from overseas.
Not only you, the parent(s), have to pay for domestic paper works, but you also have to pay for overseas work as well – it’s a double whammy, but sure is worth it when you see your child’s face.
Whatever the reasons might be (challenges of conceiving or adding to existing family or being a single mom or etc) giving the opportunity to save a child (in turn saving your life as well) is a blessing — from personal experience, it is wonderful!
However, before you decide to adopt you need to first decide if you are going to go for international adoptions or domestic adoptions.
There are both pros and cons to each adoption so you need to understand and have clear expectations of both adoptions.
Jolie & Pitt
Pros — International Adoptions:
1) More children available from different parts of the world: many countries
2) Need to get approved for homestudy – usually, once you are approved you are practically guaranteed a child
3) Parents/children matched either by adoption agency, country’s adoption committee, or in-country visit
4) Parents know the timeline – usually 12-18 months; however, does differ from the country you are adopting your children from
5) Birthmothers will not change her mind – children are usually orphans
6) Know the cost before the process starts
Cons – International Adoptions
1) You will probably have to travel (depends on the age of the children and country)
2) Chances to get a newborn infant is slim
3) Child’s medical and family history might not be available
4) No guarantee you’ll receive a “perfect” child – There’s a great possibility that the child might have developmental disabled (depending on the length of stays in the orphanage)
5) Lots of paper work
6) Higher costs
Pros – Domestic Adoption:
1) Cost may be “little” compared to international adoptions; especially if you go through your state or adoptions through foster care system
2) Little travel required
3) Chances of getting an infant is greater
Cons – Domestic Adoption:
1) May require you to take classes – usually 25 or more hours (e.g. in Kansas parents are required to attend Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting (MAPP) classes
2) Birth mothers/fathers can change their minds (for longer and later stages of adoption process)
3) Harder procedural guidelines and requirements to adopt a child (unfortunately, discriminated against based on gender, age, sexuality, and etc)
Of course, there are more “pros and cons” to both adoption process; however, they are neither bad nor good — it’s all up to the prospective parents needs and wants. In another words, what’s good for one perspective parents might be good for the other parents, and vice versa.
Either way you choose to go, giving a child a CHANCE is the greatest thing a human being can do!
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Adoption Network: Law Center. Retrieved from http://international.adoption.com/foreign/pros-cons-of-international-adoption.html (1/24/09).
Craft, C. Deciding Between Domestic Adoption and International Adoption. About.com Retrieved from http://adoption.about.com/od/adopting/a/domint.htm (1/24/09).
Robin, W. The Pros and Cons of Domestic Adoptions. Ezinearticles. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Pros-And-Cons-Of-Domestic-Adoptions&id=559304 (1/24/09).
